It's the Great Hollow Kenpachi Zaraki
by CaptainGameMaster
Summary: A prank is pulled on Kenpachi on the Night of Halloween. He is tricked into thinking that kids dressed in their costumes are hollows and he must go to eliminate them.


ITS THE

GREAT HOLLOW

KENPACHI ZARAKI!

_A drunk Toshiro and Rangiku pull a prank on Kenpachi on the Night of Halloween. He is tricked into thinking that kids dressed in their costumes are hollows and he must go to eliminate them._

**HALLOWEEN**

**SOUL SOCIETY**

**(Local Tavern)**

"Y' ya know what Rangiku, I don't say this enough but y-y-you got bust that j-just won't quit" slurred a drunken Toshiro. "D-don't you mean a butt?" "I KNOW I SAID!" he shouted, turned his head and shot projectile vomit out the window landing all over a passing by Ikkaku's bald head. Rangiku began to giggle at her captain's care-free drunken nature. "H-hey Rangiku. I-I got anideatoohilarious..." he leaned over to whisper into Rangiku's ear. "Ha ha ha ha ha yes, yes, yes, a thousandtimesyes!" The two stood and ran out of the bar without paying their bill, too caught up in their own diabolical plans.

**(Squad 11 Barracks)**

"and that is why where here." stated a still drunk Toshiro as he explained their poorly constructed plan to Squad 11's captain, Kenpachi Zaraki. "And the old man has sent you two to deliver this message?" he questioned as it made little sense. "Yes, it is what the humans call Hollow Ween. A night once a year when hollows go and attack random people. The Head Captain said you were the best candidate for this job as it requires all of them to be destroyed before civilians get hurt." Rangiku; the more sober of the two said her part of the prank. "Well this sounds like it will be fun. And hey afterward, I'll go and have a good sparring with Ichigo." he began to laugh his evil laugh. "Yachiru! Prep the Senkaimon! I'm heading to the World of the Living!" He turned around and walked to the Senkaimon within the barracks. Meanwhile, Rangiku and Toshiro laughed themselves into unconsciousness.

**(Karakura Town)**

"What! How can this be! It seems that every time the hollows say 'Trick-or-Treat' the people retreat to the confines of their home. That means... OH SHIT! THEY CAN POSSESS HUMANS AND USE THEM TO HARM OTHER HUMANS!" Kenpachi began to freak out. "This means I may have to kill a few humans in order to defeat this hollow. Oh well, let's hope they give me a good fight."

Kenpachi jumped to the ground near a small boy wearing a skeleton costume. "Hey shortie! Fight me!" he shouted. However the kid did not hear him as the boy was very well alive. The boy walked up to the door of a house and rang the bell. An old woman answered the door and the boy chanted the infamous words. "Trick-or-Treat!" "NO! Kenpachi dashed towards the boy preparing to decapitate the hollow/boy. The old lady turned back around after getting the bowl of candy just in time for the boy's head to land in the bowl. "AHHHHHH!" the old woman shrieked as the now dead boy's head lay in the bowl of candy. She then had a heart attack and died there on the spot. "Too bad I couldn't save the old woman.

He then turned around to see a horrific site. An man dressed in green spandex and a dark green vest over the spandex. He had a bowl cut and eyebrows so big that they were alive. He was screaming to a smaller version of himself about the youthfulness of this joyous night and they will get more candy than the scarecrow or he will do one thousand pushups, and if he could not than he would do ten thousand situps. The two then proceeded to a house and then chanted those words. "Trick-or-Treet!" Kenpachi smiled and laughed. "I am gonna enjoy this far too much." He then proceeded to eliminate the two spandex wearing freaks.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

Ichigo had just gotten back from Orihime's apartment. The two had been studying for their midterms next week. "Dad, Yuuzu, Karin... I'm home! AGH!" He was pulled into the living room where the tv was on. "What's going on?" Karin pointed to the television. "If your just joining us then be warned the news we are about to deliver may be unsettling to some. Tonight horror struck Karakura town by an unknown cause of death. Trick-or-Treaters have been brutally murdered. There is no traces of a weapon used but there are what appears to be cut marks on each victim."

Just then, Ichigo felt a spiritual pressure across the street. "There is no way. Why would HE be here!" He dashed outside to see entrails of kids spread all over the neighborhood. There in the sky was Kenpachi decapitating a kid in a Karakuraizer outfit. "KENPACHI WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" "Well Ichigo what have you been up to that kept you from dealing with these hollows?" "WHAT HOLLOWS! ACCORDING TO THE NEWS YOU'VE RUINED HOLLOWEEN FOR KIDS EVERYWHERE!" Ichigo shouted. "Hollow Ween? You knew about this terrible event and did nothing!" "IT WAS FINE UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP! AND IT'S CALLED HALLOWEEN! IT'S A NIGHT FOR KIDS TO GET FREE CANDY!"

"CANDY! Candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy!" A loud voice came flying towards Kenpachi. There before them was Yachiru wearing a purple wig on and a halo above her head. She wore a white dress and red coat. (picture Dokuro from Bokutachi Tenshi Dokuro-Chan) She was carrying more bags of candy than should have been physically possible. "Yachiru? What are you doing here?" "Silly Kenny, it's Halloween. I came here for free candy! Wow you made a mess this time!"

"So these were just kids?" asked Kenpachi as he stood there in shock. "YES! Except for Keigo over there." He pointed to Keigo who was missing his pants for some reason. "Oops, Looks like I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-dasies." Kenpachi said. "BWA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh I am so making that my new ringtone!" Ichigo was on the ground laughing his ass off. "Yachiru, fix this and make sure nobody remembers this." "Right Kenny!" She drew hew zanpakto and released her shikai. It turned into a large bat with spikes coming out of it. She began to spin it around as she chanted. "Pi-piru-piru Piru Pi-piru-pi!" A glow filled the entire town as all the dead were back to life and nobody remembered what happened.

ONE WEEK LATER

Ichigo was in the middle of class taking his midterms when out of the blue he gets a call from Don Kanonji and his phone let out with "Looks like I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-dasies." in Kenpachi's voice. Ichigo, Chad, Inoue, and Uuryu fell out of there seats laughing.

Keigo never did find his shoes.


End file.
